Wednesday, March 25, 2009

People ask


How can Torah Surpass the joy of art?

The answer for me is very easy. When I painted, there was a speck of time I actually became one with the canvass. This time was fleeting and empty on both ends. Mostly I had inner, superficial and patently false dilemmas and hopes rambling around in my thoughts. It was not comfortable at all, and even though I reached what I wanted, near reality, it was empty.

The joy of art was an empty vessel, and even if fame had become a part of the course, it would still have been an empty vessel.

There is a warning about not using talents, and so I don't suggest this. There was a great singer in Torah whose name was Naboth. This is the man Jezebel framed for his vineyard. There is always a reason why things happen, even though we can't see it.

Naboth would sing every Shabbat, and people came from miles around to hear his singing voice. One day, he decided it was futile. He did not use his talent, as if it were his own to chose. So I and not advocating not using talents, this could be dangerous.

For me though, art was not as much a talent, but a desire to get to know the Rabboina Shel Olam. When I found Torah, I found my particular path, destiny and talent. Art was just a stepping stone.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

How did I find Torah

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Rabbi Kalatsky www.yadavraham.org .

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www.artscroll.com
www.feldheim.com
www.613.org

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I'm not going to be here

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I simply do not have the time to continue my blog.
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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Amazing Bits From Shemos / Exodus

Bobnightsky
Exodus 4:1
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ArtScroll Shemos Interlinear Chumash. http://www.artscroll.com/
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After God had told Moses of Pharaoh's soon to be revealed indifference to his warnings, Moses argued that his seemingly apparent lack of power would weaken the Israelites resolve to follow and listen to him.
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Ramban: Moses therefore contended that it was more logical for the Israelites not to believe in him.
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Or HaChaim: Moses felt that he lacked the prerequisites of prophecy such as wisdom, wealth, and physical perfection (awkward of speech). Consequently he supposed that the people would surely doubt him. He didn't raise this question as soon as God approached him at the burning bush, because he expected that when God revealed to him the Name with which miracles are performed, he would be transformed miraculously into someone worthy of prophecy. That did not happen.
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MH: There is so much to learn from this.
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Just a regular person expected to do mundane things can apply this learned to defeat excuses addressed by the yetzer haRa. For example, you need to help your neighbor. It is a lot easier to convince yourself that you haven't got the finances, aren't smart enough to figure out the best method, or don't have the physical ability to help.
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You can help. In your own ability:
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1.) Know that your finances aren't completely yours, to dole out according to your own discretion.
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2.) Know that your wisdom is often supplemented by Ruach Ha Kodesh, the Holy One Blessed is He, Himself.
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3.) Know that even the smallest physical help can go a long way.
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By 4:2 you learn quickly that God holds the power of life and death. The dead staff changed into a live snake.
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Moses needed a revelation to ignite his deep understanding. The snake and the hand were for his benefit.
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Ask God to show you a sign in direction. If Moses required such a sign, I think we all do as well.
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Just don't tell God what the sign should be. The discerning of the messages of God is a great growth tool.
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One other warning, and this is in regards to all sorts of gods that the American People believe and depend upon.
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Rashi: The Nile was an Egyptian god. The transformation into blood shows that when God punishes a nation, He first proves that its gods are powerless.
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Annuities have been proved to be not as protective as we have been taught. Medical insurance, Real Estate Markets, News Broadcasters, and governments are being exposed for the false protective blankets that they really are. There is only One! One Protector to depend upon, period.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Thank you, Hashem!!!

Captain Casey Sullenberger
1/15/09
The Hero of the Hudson River Plane Crash

Monday, January 12, 2009

Intricacies of Iyov, Job III

Rabbi Eisemann
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I've decided to erase this post because it is one of those learnings that address a concept very difficult at best to comprehend.
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You can always listen to Rabbi Eisemann's classes here:
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Weekly themes/ Parshayot.
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Classes from Koheles/ Ecclesiates
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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Derech Hashem/The Way Of God IV

Human Responsibility

Even though we are tied to the physical, ie: eating, relationships, societal mores, Hashem made it absolutely possible to transcend these potentially negative aspects of life.

RamChal: Man is able to rise to perfection through his worldly activities and the physical world itself. It is precisely through these that he attains a pure and lofty state.

In my opinion what this means is that in order to prove our deepest intentions, actions are required. Talk is cheap. Because of the lowliness of the world we have the opportunity to make correct choices. Truth is Truth and will never be changed to fit the generation in which we find ourselves immersed..

RamChal: For wen man transforms darkness into light and deathly shadow into sparkling brilliance, he personally earns for himself unparalleled excellence and glory. ( Zohar 1:4a)

In my opinion this states that there many ways to use many situations, but only one correct way will promise the desire to perfect the next step along the pathway. The Sages refer to this a mitzvah goreros mitzvah, one good choice leads to the desire to do the next thing to the best of your ability.

RamChal: When a man abides by the limits, arrangements and intentions ordained by the Creator, then the mundane activities themselves become acts of perfection.

So man is constantly in flux. He should find himself elevated to a certain degree, no matter how seemingly insignificant. It accumulates very, very indistinguishably for a very long time, but in the end, in retrospect, the person will realize clearly just how far he has actually come.

RamChal: The HIghest Wisdom took into account all the categories of man's natural faults as well as all the concepts of true excellence and value required by man to come "close" to God (Dvakus, Zelem Elokim). Taking everything into account, He set up patterns and restraints through which everything excellent should be incorporated in man and everything separationg him from God is removed.

This world, this life is not a free for all to make up on the fly. It is a testing ground, whereas we have been given time to perfect the character that we were given. We don't just spend time trying to prove we are all that, we realize that we are all nothing in comparison to the Master of Universe. This nothingness is only discouraging to the people who believe that this life is an "end" in itself and we need to get everything we can get out of it, physically speaking.

There is only an allotted time to do an allotted purpose. That purpose is to work on ourselves to the degree that our Audience is Hashem alone. Once we realize true Emunah, faith in Hashem, then all we want to do is perfect our weaknesses and do the best job for the One we love.

As you go along, you see yourself and all your idiotic processes in which you were convinced that you were perfect and the world was wrong. I look back at my life and I am ashamed. I cannot believe I have been given the opportunity to love Torah the way I love Torah. I was not exceedingly bad according to what a "church lady" may consider, but I was bad for society as an arrogant person. I was a liar, and no one knew it. I was a yeller, and I didn't know the long range impact on the world by this arrogance. I'm ashamed. This is not the easy path, but it is a way to rectify so when you are face with the Beis Din Shamala, these arguments are not something new, they are something attended to and addressed in this lifetime.


Thursday, January 8, 2009

For Am Yisroel, Hashem's Am Segulah

Oh Please Hashem, they hold the only power that can teach the world of absolute futility and warn of impending disaster.
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They have the most powerful weapon in the world, Prayer.
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Please open their eyes and bring them back to You.
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In the zchuss of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, in the memory of Dovid Ha Melech and Yossef HaZaddik, l'had lik ner shel Am Yisroel to be the true Light unto the nations.
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A Ness Nigla as you performed in 1967 (5727), Hashem.You did it then, 42 years ago which is 6 X 7, very significant warning, Sir.
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Let the Chanina ben Dosa's of our generation realize their strength and call this a time of change in the Jewish heart and mind, period.
As great Tzaddiks are the one's with the words to change the generation, dor v dor, let the great Torah Sages of today call this Rashit and not ketz.
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Please, Hashem, please. Todah.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


























Rashi, Ramban, Abarbanel and Malbim
Genesis 1:9
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Ramban: Let the waters be gathered from beneath the heaven.
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Ramban asks: Once God decreed that the waters be gathered into one area, why did He need to decree the dry land appear?
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Tehom is water mixed with earth (Ramban to 1:1). Tehom is usually translated as "the deep." The water of the sea contains earth. This is an intermingling of two elements, water and earth. According to Rishonim, everything is a combination of the four basic elements. Ramban expounds from this that "earth" in 1:1 is a generic term for everything on the planet.
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Ibn Ezra disagrees and in his opinion the "earth" in 1:1 refers to the same dry land in 1:9,10.
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Ramban argues that 2:1 The heavens and the earth were finished and all their hosts suggests completion. Since the generic earth is taken to mean more than just dry land, (Ibn Ezra), this "earth" which includes the seas and all that is in the seas is being considered "finished." cannot mean earth in its simplest form, ie "ground."
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Is this a learning about realms or spheres? see Leviticus 26:4. See also Psalms 148:7.
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Back to tahom which is a mixture of two elements.
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This is interesting. The ArtScroll translators Rabbi Blinder and Kamenetsky" The earth was originally made up of nothing but mud. Then God decreed that the soil and water that comprised the mud should separate from each other, and the soild should rise to the surface and coagulate there. Psalm 136:6.
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MH: I'm not sure I'm going to keep this post going in this direction. I think I'll spend some time digesting what I'm learning. We will see.








World

I don't know the photographer, but I would appreciate knowing his/her name.
World
RamChal- Derch Hashem

I ran across this during my morning study and it opened my eyes a bit.

RamChal: "The term "world" is defined as a collection of many diverse entities and assorted principles, divided and interrelated in various wasy in a single conceptual space. This definition of "world" applies to any such collection, whether the individual constituents are physical or spiritual."

MH: This is the reason we all remain blind to some extent. This is also a reason why even though we spend our lives with other people, we don't ever fully understand the mechanisms that urge those people. We never really know them because they too are diverse entities composed of assorted principles. It is what makes each individual unique.

I need to think about this for a good long while.


Friday, January 2, 2009

My 2009 Resolutions

Picture by
Jeff Smith
My 2009 Resolutions

We all need to see ourselves as a tiny screw in a carburetor. Picture that car in Death Valley in the heat of the summer. Without that seeminging insignificant screw in the carburetor we could end up at the end of the line.

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The only way to truly defeat what we see as rampant immorality (deliberately violating the principles of right and wrong) and its corollaries, hedonism, greed, and theft is for each of us to work on our own characters.

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We are all to blame for shortcuts. We are a body of people, not just little islands of self.For example, we have a heart problem right now. Getting the arteries reamed out every other year does nothing, but if we stop eating the deadly material called, "its the other guys fault," we will perish collectively.

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Here are things that I am personally working on:

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1.) impatience

2.) giving

3.) absolute integrity

4.) fearless optimism

5.) no gossip at all, zero (gossip is like an arrow that you shoot from the tongue and you cannot go back and repair the damge once it has left the string).

6.) forgiveness despite the fact that you may be justified according to the moment, but it is a tapestry that you cannot understand when you have your nose up to it.

7.) finally, real love for one another. Not the fake fellowship garbage that you only proffer if it isn't to difficult. But the kind that is painful to give because the "self" voice is louder than the good inclination.


Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It Is Time For The Truth To Be Told

The Jewish People have one little spot on the planet that to the Torah Jew is sacrosanct to the nth degree.
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The Bible that Islam and other religions depend on, is all about this land and this people. They are special in the eyes of the Master of the Universe and yet people have been trying to lure them away, kill them, and defame them.
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What people don't understand is that there is a spiritual realm and Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov were not just ordinary men. They were world changers from a perspective far and above the "world."
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There are teachings about this geographical area that are mystical and yet simple and easy to understand when people step away from their personal agenda and "self."There are lessons to be learned in the fact that Jacob went to Goshen, but his burial was in the land of Israel. This is not just ceremony. Korach collected money, Moses collect bones some Rabbis say more than just the ossuary of Joseph, but all the buried bones of Klal Yisroel.Why?
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There are even stories about earth in Genesis and how it disrespected the blood of Abel. The four elements have more life and existence than our simple minds can understand and which is far beyond the scope of my learning.So the actual "earth" of Israel, the pipelines and Techiyas Ha Masim, are all pieces of the puzzle.
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The challenge is for all to work on their characters, but the Jewish People carry a far more difficult burden. People are jealous, plain and simple of the Jewish People, but what they don't realize is how difficult it is to be a Jew and the cost to the individual who ditches Yiddishkite.The farther they are, the harder they fall.
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God Bless the Jewish People and give them the courage to finally shut up pride, ego and self. This is not a popularity contest, tell the world to take a hike and shut the Meraglim up and fight for Israel, which is a true fight for the world.
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Why I Love Torah


Blue Snow - David Adler

There is nothing in the world that can bring us closer to Hashem than Torah. It is a realm, a beautiful realm that when you enter it you know you are there. It is similar to the feeling we get when we listen to the music of a particular era of our life. There are songs that remind me of my youth, my first love, my failures. It is mystical, but Torah is far and above, many millions of miles above even this glimpse called music.

When life gets hard, I have this sanctuary at my desk that feels like a nest. I am surrounded by Torah, from Chumash to RamChal.

I ask myself all the time, why did I deserve this glorious treasure? I have not been an admirable in my actions so many times that I'm ashamed. Looking back at my past makes me shudder. Why me an Irish German lady?

I can't explain it, but I remember clearly after a life of seeking Hashem, the moment I found Rabbi Kalatsky 1/2003 and heard the words of True Torah. I was down at the river and what I thought was an inadvertant scream of joy was the release of my neshamah from the chains of world.

That portion of my life that was like tohu and bohu, darkness and confusion, was amputated like a gangrenous limb. It has been a long hard road, very slow, bitty steps to get even to this level I'm on today. And I know clearly that his is like mile 47 in a zeccazillion mile path to know Ha Kodesh Baruch Hu.

All that I know for sure is that my thirst for world is quelled and my appetite is growing. How wonderful is that?

RamChal: These words have the unique property of causing one who reads them to incorporate in himself the highest excellence and the greatest perfection.

The condition: That they be read with hoiness and purity, with the proper intent of fulfilling God's Will.

MH: Even to the slightest degree.

Thank you Hashem.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Poetry, my heart is singing.
Mary Hogan
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The panic ignited by Nancy Pelosi
Of self-aggrandizement and weaving her legacy
A legacy so rife with ego pollution
Like a twisted embilical exphyxiating all children
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A congress supported by animals like Soros
As corrupt an conniving as a night stalking junki
Who bark out their minds, as if they ever had minds
An sell their glass as diamonds on the playground
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No heart, no soul, no brains only ego
Only ego and checkbooks and checkbooks and ego
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No good, no bad, only ways of confusion
Only ego and checkbooks and ways of confusion
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No right, no wrong, only depths of enslavement
Only ego and checkbooks and ways of confusion, only ways of confusion and depth of enslavement.
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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Intricacies of Job, Iyov II

Rabbi Eisemann
What is unquestioning integrity?
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Tam v'yashar, Rashi writes for tam, perfect in his actions.
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R' Eisemann: "We believe this to imply a life lived in congruence with the ideals and principles which guide it. There are no aberratations, everyithing contributes to a totally integrated person."
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MH: Can you imagine?
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There are other connotations of tam, Genesis 25:27 Jacob is described as a tam. In this situation, tam implies a simplicity of sorts, a naivete. It is a person that speaks from the heart with no guile or alternative motivation. This person has a very difficult time lying, which when you study Jacob and get to know him you understand the situation of the blessing and the lamb's wool.
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The Gra, the Vilna Gaon to Proverbs 2:7 discusses tam and Yashar. He states that the Torah is offering advice to the tam and the yashar.
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Rabbi Eisemann: The yashar is a man whose intellect directs his steps and human qualities into the straight and virtuous paths laid down by God.
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MH: So what's the difference, really? The yashar depends greatly on the precepts of the Torah to keep him from slipping into worldly processes. The Tam doesn't deviate right or left. His path is simplistic, so to speak (although definitely not easy, it is not the "easy path.") So, his path depends on the same precepts of Torah.
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What's the difference then between a tam and a yashar?
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The yashar depends on his intellect, while the tam follows the Torah he has learned. Please don't quote me, this is my own take. The tam does everything from a base of true faith.
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Rabbi Eisemann: "He needs no advice since his understanding is not the determining factor. "
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MH: He doesn't have to prepare himself against battles in his mind.
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Rabbi Eisemann: "He may well stumble and thus he needs a shield to protect him from faltering."






Sunday, December 21, 2008

Looking at Torah Through Hebrew II






























Rashi, Ramban, Ibn Ezra, Malbim, Abarbanel
Rashi: 1:2 And the "ruach" of God was hovering over the water. Rashi interprets ruach spirit, and asks "The Scripture has not yet revealed at that point when the creation of the waters took place."
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The "hey mayim" the water with the definite article according to Rashi "indicates that it refers to pre-existing water, not water created after the creation of the heavens and the earth."
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Rashi goes on to suggest that this tells us that water preceded the earth and the heavens because Chagigah 12a explains that the heavens were created from fire and water. This also, according to Rashi proves no chronological order.
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Ramban: Ramban translate ruach as wind. "The wind from God hovered upon the surface of the waters." Also notice "on" instead of Rashi's "over."
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Ramban asks "Why is the the wind in our verse described as a wind from God? Weren't all four elements "from God?" Ramban explains his query according to his opinion: "wind is more intangible than the other elements and is above them all."
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Rashi: "The breath of God was hovering. The Throne of Glory was standing in the air and hovering over the surface of the water, by the breath of the Holy One, Blessed is He, and by His statement, like a dove that hovers over a nest."
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Chagigah 15a; Midrash Tehillim 93-5, breath does not hover.
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MH; So what does this teach me? One thing I've learned about Great Sages and Rabbis compared to teachers of other religions and belief systems, is that Rabbis believe God. In this belief they realize that a lot that is going on is impossible to understand.
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Unlike Hellenistic systems, where some guy reaches a high level of understanding and puppets follow him without study, deeming themselves inferior, this study takes every element of Torah and scrutinizes not only the tapestry, but the details of the writing down to letters and combinations of letters.
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I believe that we are here to gather the Truth and we are then weighed on a scale according to how much we actually got correct. Personally, I think that Rashi's voluminous work will stand high in the crowd, but learning a Ramban can even elucidate further.
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Torah is the greatest Treasure on the planet.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Trouble, Your Name Was Test


All the scary things that occurred in the last week or so are all resolved. The health problems have been addressed and stamped clean. It was a test. And guess Who saw me through it all, Ha Kodesh Baruch Hu, the Holy One Blessed is He!!!!
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There are no words for my gratitude, Hashem. No words can describe how much I love You!!!
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(Please no more tests for a while) But I do remember the learning about Yaakov begging You for time of rest and You responded, "You want rest in this world and the world to come?"
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It never hurts to ask!!!!



For Time Bomb

Derech Hashem /Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzatto / RamChal http://www.feldheim.com/


As I study Derech Hashem 1:5:8 this morning I thought of you. I am very cautious of what goes in my mind and what stays out, but I thought of you as I studied this morning.

Light is not just a free concept, like a butterfly ready to be caught indeterminately. I've been working on understanding a Tanya teaching of bittul and bottol. It has been a long walk that is a golden ring for me, but it eludes me.

My study this morning lead me slightly closer and it is seemingly so simplistic that a first grader could comprehend. But there is a deeper learning from this simple knowledge.

I learned many, many years ago that the Light (all goodness) is God and that absence of this Light, to whatever degree is evil. It sits firmly in my mind, but my heart understands it only superficially. I'm not asking for explanation from anyone, I will find it on the pathway. A short constructive discussion could be interesting, but my veto pen would be in hand because far flung, half baked, teachers outside of Torah study are very dangerous. I do read Hebrew and have learned many intricacies according to my level.

RamChal: The True cause of everything good, whether among the Forces or their effects, is the Light of God's Presence. The cause of all evil, on the other hand is the absence of this light.

MH: So the God is the cause of actual good, "both general and in particular." So evil is the absence of this "good." Like a shade tree blocks the sun's light. A boxed in room with no windows is all dark. It is not dark in itself, but is merely the absence of the sun. This is where my mind seizes in regard to bittul and bottol.

There is deep learning in this that I want to extract in this lifetime.

So, in essence, God is an indirect cause of evil, because He is not present in darkness. Very explanatory of the situation of the world we live in now.

RamChal: The purpose of the source of evil was to give rise to particular concepts, to the extent that the Highest Wisdom determined necessary so that both man and the world be in its desired state. Isaiah 45:7. [God] forms light and creates darkness, makes peace and creates evil.

MH: It is about a deficiency.

RamChal: The activity of these evil forces, both individually and as a whole, depends on the extent to which God's LIght is absent and His Presence concealed. The greater this absence of LIght, the more authority and power these Forces have to act, both in general and in particular.

MH: The more weakened good, the more powerful evil. Today we have weakened good to the extent that bad is seen as totally acceptible.

RamChal: When these evil Forces are subjugated and deprived of their authority and power to act, on the other hand, then the good becomes strengthened. The Roots of all created things are then rectified and are set in a agood state so that both they and their brances are strengthened.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Looking at Torah Through Hebrew

























Abarbanel, Malbim, Chazon Ish, Ibn Ezra, Rashi, Ramban
Berashit bara Elokim et hashamayim v'et haaretz.
1:1
Rashi: In the beginning of [God's] creating. Rashi says that this verse screams "expound me!" It is the beginning of the Torah which is called rashit darcu, the beginning of His way. The verse is not teach the order of creation. Rashi says if it were chronological It should have been written "At first, He created the Heavens, etc." The word Rashit in Torah is always attached to the word that follows it.
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The perplexing proof Rashi uses is "And the spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters." Ha Mayim "the water" with a definite article indicates a pre-existing water. So does the water precede the earth? We see also that the water was created before the Heavens.
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Rashi maintains that water, wind, earth, and many other things were created on the first day.
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Ibn Ezra: In full agreement with Rashi on the first three words of 1:1 "In the beginning of God's Creation, however there is disagreement understanding the verse as a whole.
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He sees the Heavens, the earth, the deep and the water, were not created on the first day, rather on their respective days. Before them all, God created light.
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Ramban: In the beginning God created. Ramban states that it is imperative to begin the Torah with in the beginning God Created, for the account of creation is the basis of all faith.
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The Holy One created all creation from absolute nihility. There is no word to express this and that is why bara (create) was used.
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Friday, December 5, 2008

Derech Hashem/The Way Of God III

Derech Hashem/Ramchal

Ramchal: The purpose of all that was created was therefore to bring into existence a creature who could derive pleasure from God's own good, in a way that would be possible for it.

MH: Everyone is looking for True Good. This is a clue that everyone is really looking for God. Even though the physical pulls at us, there is a differing percentage of desire for good in every one of us. The extent of our merit (talk is cheap actions speak louder than words) is weighed by the distance we pull away from physical desire.

Some examples: Take a cantankerous person. This person may just seem like a miserable person happy to be unhappy. If he happens to run into a truly loving person with no guile, just the ability to love the people he meets, even the cantankerous can feel True Good.

Take a thief. There was a story I heard, I think it was Rabbi Tatz. He had been in a market when theives entered with guns and robbed everyone. This is the tsk, before he robbed Rabbi Tatz he said "forgive me father." There was a glimmer in the thief.

God gives us the opportunity to attach ourselves to Him. This is D'vakus and the spectrum is huge. The above thief had attached, but in a very limited way. I spend every waking moment thinking about Hashem, but I will also see how limited that attachment is, and how it as grown closer throughout my life.

RamChal: The purpose of all that was created was therefore to bring into existence a creature who could derive pleasure from God's own good, in a way that would be possible for it.

MH: The last week has been a bit scary. It worked out to a great degree, but the whole time I refused to allow myself deep fear. Why? I said over and over, that Hashem is the Conductor and Arranger of this life of mine. I knew deeply that out of it would come a courage so embedded with True Good, a refinement, that the result would be far better than the challenge.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I'll be back very soon

Picture by R. Wangsa


I have been a little preoccupied this week. I will return ASAP.


MH


Friday, November 28, 2008

Alone But Not Alone



Alone But Not Alone
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In the darkness of the early morning, fighting trouble and its fears, I know I am not alone. Although as frightening as life may be at times, I fight for D'vakus, clinging to the Rabboina Shel Olam. In times like these, when nothing makes sense at all, I know that Genius of all Geniuses has orchestrated the scenario.
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That feeling in the pit of my stomach is only a test of Truth and Action. I will find the strength to carry on.
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Life has gotten a little rocky for me in the last few days. There is a reason and a purpose and my only job is to cling to One I truly love, Hashem. I will make it through this storm also and I will do it with courage I have never experienced before.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Our Ultimate Destiny


There are big shots and then there are the wee ones. This world is just a preparatory stage for the Olam Haba, the world to come.

For those of us with no stature in society, with a deep hunger for Torah, we see the True Treasure every day. I love the Modeh Ani. I look out the window at the pink sky, and thank God for another opportunity to work on my character. My desire to prove anything about myself is based solely on my knowledge of how the decision will impact Hashem. Without a glimmer of audacity and assumption, I know I know very little and deserve even less.

This world and all its enticements looks to me like a Styrofoam display cake in a bakery or a wax sample meal on at a restaurant. Underneath it all you know that meal you actually get is not so perfect and that you've somehow been had. With Torah, every taste is delectable and makes you want more and more.

One thing I have learned is that when I stand before the Beis Din Shamala, there are going to be things I thought I had in the bag, and then the details will show me how I was absolutely clueless.

Thanksgiving 2008



The sun has just set and it was a beautiful vision. Although every day for me is a beauty, today was exceptional.

I have been praying for a grandchild since my daughter was 2 1/2 when the doctor told me because of medication my daughter would never have a child. I never mentioned it to her, but it was there in my heart, this silent prayer to the One I love the most, Ha Kodesh Baruch Hu.

There were a few troubles and traumas along the way even after her marriage over five years ago. I fought the want for jealousy at the grandmothers all around. I prayed and I prayed.

This Thanksgiving, tears are in my eyes, I spent the day with my daughter, my son (in law, but my son) and my grandson.

There are no words to describe how much I love the Rabbona shel olam. There are no words to tell Him thank you, believe me I've tried.

I love you Hashem, I am so grateful for everything, especially the Torah that you have given me.

Thank you for my own baby girl, and her son...my grandson.

Monday, November 24, 2008

What is valuable?

What is the value of something? It depends. There was a happy man of the country who knew the value of a good milk producing cow, but nothing of diamonds and sapphires.

One day the king was passing by his barn when a tree fell upon the king's carriage and the happy farmer saved the king with a rope and a cow.

As a reward for the effort the king took the farmer to his treasury and told him to take whatever he wanted. He immediately spied a few wooden stools, a pile of sacks, brooms and wooden boxes. The king said, but you don't understand, I'm offering you great riches.

The man said, what are riches? I think I'm rich already, but I can always use these supplies, thank you very much. He picked up his valuables and he walked out of the treasury.

What are riches? Hmmm.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Thoughts of A Simple Jew


Man's intellect can be likened to a heat-seeking missile. Once he has made up his mind, his brain locks on the target and nothing can divert its course.How many of us, however, stop mid-trajectory to ask Hashem to validate our choice of targets, and to show us whether there is a flaw in our logic? A Simple Jew


Friday, November 21, 2008

Derech Hashem/The Way Of God II

I have spent the last two days in Derech Hashem I. Fundamentals / 3. Man. This is my second trip through the book although I have been studying R' Moshe Chaim Luzzatto via Rabbi Kalatsky, Rabbi Tatz and many other shuirim for five years, eleven months.

This particular portion I'm delving into because I want it in my heart much deeper than I have it now.

It starts out with "man is the creature created for the purpose of cleaving to Hashem. Only man is placed between perfection and deficiency, with the power to earn perfection."

I speaks about free will and how that is only a test of the level of compunction a person has attained. We live in a society where guilt is a "bad thing." Why? Because we live in a "let it rip" society. We have become desensitized to the fact that we are not just here on a joy ride, that this is a time of action.

RamChal: If man were compelled towards perfection, then he would not really be the master of it. Rather He who compelled him would be the one responsible, and God's purpose would not be fulfilled.

This speaks volumes to me these days, whereas the many years of previous learning weren't a pointed as these facts are at this time for me. And yes, I call what I learn from Talmud, Torah...facts -' a piece of information presented as having objective reality.' And yes, I know the difference between subjective reality and objective reality. You can eat an orange, but you can't truly describe the pleasure or perhaps displeasure of that particular orange as no two oranges are ever identical. Kinda like an expert of great pottery who knows not only the aesthetics of a piece, but the provenance of that object.

RamChal: It was necessary that man be given free will, and be balanced between good and evil, and not be compelled towards either. He has the power of choice, and able to choose either side, knowingly and willingly, and possess whichever one he wishes.

The Rabbi's teach that God will help a person no matter where he is headed. If he is headed for evil, he will also be helped along that pathway. This life is a tricky path. It is all about "talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words."

RamChal: In order that God's goal be best achieved, the Highest Wisdom decreed that man should consist of two opposites.

A person has a soul, which is pure an unadulterated. He also has a physical body which is unenlightened. The body is inclined towards the material and the soul toward the spiritual.

This is a battle.

RamChal: If the soul prevails, it not only elevates itself, but elevates the body as well, and the individual thereby attains his destined perfection. If he allows the physical to prevail, then besides lowering his body, he also debases his soul.

The beauty is that even though at some point he may go too far, he still retains the ability to subjugate the physical to his soul and turn it all around, back to the desired direction.

I love Tshuvah.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Derech Hashem/The Way Of God I


Derech Hashem - RamChal - http://www.feldheim.com/


Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato


Translated by Aryeh Kaplan


Ramchal: Every Jew must believe and know that there exists a first Being, without beginning or end, Who brought all things into existence and continues to sustain them. This Being is God!


MH: This whole believe system that God is a kind of clock maker who made this clock called our world, wound it up and let it go on its own is blindness. God does not recreate the world once a year, a month or a day. He creates every nanosecond of every day new and fresh. That we see it as routine is depictive of the fact that we don't look deeply into any particular day.


Today I will have a combination of joys and frustrations that I have never experienced in the exact detail that they occur today.


Ramchal: It is further necessary to know that God's true nature cannot be understood at all by any being other than Himself.


MH: With each level I have achieved, it has been made clear to me that knowing God is a process and that I am on about mile forty-seven in a zezzazillion mile path. When I started on this path I thought I knew it all, and I still have to fight this trap of thinking.


Ramchal: The only thing we do know about Him is that He is perfect in every possible way and devoid of every conceivable deficiency.


MH: The most beautiful result of realizing this is when things get rough. I have to fight to embed this in my heart with each and every conflict, viccissitude that crops up. What I have noted though lately is that I am stronger and not so easily blow over by the yetzer hara.


Ramchal: It is also necessary to know that God's existence is imperative. It is abolutely impossible that He should cease to exist.


It is further necessary to know that God's existence does not depend on anything else at all. His existence is intrinsically imperative.


To be continued

Thursday, November 13, 2008

One of my favorite sites




I found this picture at A Simple Jew, today. R' Yosef Caro. It appears to be his Synagogue. I don't know if A Simple Jew took this or not. Its a beautiful picture and A Simple Jew is a beautiful site where I learn a lot.


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Real Reality




Chagigah 15b

Elisha ben Avuyah's (Acher, the Other)father was a very prominent man.
On the day of Acher's bris his father invited all the prominent men of Jerusalem and seated them in one room. He also invited Rabbi Eliezar and Rabbi Yehoshua and seated them in a different room.

After they ate and drank, the people in the first room began to sing, clap and dance. R' Eliezar said to R' Yehoshua, "While they are engaged in their activity let us engage in ours." They sat down and began to engage in the words of Torah.

A fire descended from Heaven and surrounded them. Acher's father came in and said, "Are you trying to burn my house down??"

They said "no, Heaven forbid! We were just sitting and reviewing the words of Torah from the Torah to the Prophets and frm the Prophets to the Writings and the words were so joyous that the fire was lapping them up.

Acher's father said, "If that is the power of Torah I will set this son aside for Torah."Unfortunately the father's desire was not for the sake of heaven, but for the power of Torah.

Acher abandoned the Torah.

Why?

I ask: When the parlor games are over, and the hotshots are wormfood, one wonders why no one can figure out that all this "ego" is for nothing.