Rav Dessler/Strive for the Truth/Feldheim.
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This is a great book for those with no Hebrew, and also those who need a translation. If everyone in the world studied just this, the world would be a far better place.
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Rav Dessler on Free Choice: We know that every human being has free choice in whatever situation he may be. His free choice extends to the one point at which the forces of truth and falsehood are equally balanced in his mind.
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MH: My first question is, what the heck are the forces of truth and falsehood? How can these forces be balanced? Are these forces corrupted by external influences?
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Rav Dessler: It is here that free will comes into play. Areas above this point, and those below it, lie outside the range of his free will at that particular time.
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MH: So I think again, is this a spiritual point where my neshamah knows something beyond the intellect? When I study it and think about it (sometimes for years)I know there is a superficial meaning and a very deep meaning. The clue "that particular time,"refines the thought from the general to the particular. This is telling me that this is indeed a path, a derech replete with tests and situations. It is like a trip with clues along the pathway to lead you to the final destination. Without these clues, a person is blind and only goes around in circles. The mightiest clue with "that particular time" convinces me that I am a work in progress, mere potential.
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Rav Dessler: Areas above the free-will point" mean questions of right and wrong which a person's moral sense cannot yet grasp.
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MH: I understand this slightly. Before this path, I was a self-justification expert. I could come up with a viable answer to any blatant mistake that I made. Why? I ask myself today. What was I proving and to whom?
Perhaps I'm right, perhaps I'm wrong, I love rebuke, but I think Rav Dessler is saying that Truth is truly immutable. It is not open for discussion, or changeable to suit our needs, or era.
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Rav Dessler: Areas below the free-will point mean questions about matters which are already part of his established moral behavior-patterns, so that he would normally be relatively immune to temptation on these points.
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MH: Now here I am lost, not mature enough to understand the gravity of this point. Are these moral behavior-patterns apparently incorrect, corrupted? No, I think this is more like a good person who would never think of mugging an old lady, and so the temptation to mug an old lady is simple not in that person. The yetzer ha-ra will never be able to tempt me to mug an old lady.
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Before 2003 I loved baby back ribs, then all of a sudden they started smelling like a 4 day-old corpse. You talk about disgusting. My behiro point for pork was drastically altered and I haven't had pork since.
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So here I think I learned that sometimes Hashem intervenes and makes the behiro point change easier. I quit smoking over 8 years ago immediately. I know that Hashem was giving me a gift in this and so I ased him to respond and help me with the carbs and fat grams. No deal. So my behiro point has been lowered for cigarettes and pork, but the battle is on with food.
Note: behiro = choice.
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Rav Dessler: The situation is never static. It can change for the better, and then our free-will point will rise.
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MH:
If I buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke them tonight, my behiro point could possibly rise and I would be addicted again.
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Mitzvos goreros mitzvos, one good choice leads to the desire for more good choices. Aveiros goreros aveiros, one bad choice, not matter how insignificant leads to the desire for more bad choices.
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Hmm, so much to learn. So little time.
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